Helpful Hint in Parenting

WARNING: Parents Don't be Liars

L - Don't lie to your children. Think before you speak. Don't say things you don't mean. Don't threaten if you are not going to back up what you say. If you give a consequence, follow through and don't give in. If you're a kid, it's hard to have respect and listen to a liar.

I - Don't be inconsistent. Let rules and consequences be realistic and not too strict. Don't give your children an opportunity to play one parent against the other. Be consistent in what you say. If you fall for tantrums, your children will consistently act out to get their way.

A - Don't argue with your children. You are the parent. If you say no, mean it. When you argue with your children they believe they can argue back. Be respectful to them but don't argue. When they try, acknowledge their feelings but remind them you will not change your mind.

R - Don't rage. It is disrespectful, hurtful and abusive to yell, scream, curse or hit your child. It may give you the immediate response you want, but it creates anger, shame, low self esteem and teaches them to rage at others. Kids can and do push buttons. Remain calm and stay in control.

S - Don't stifle your children's feelings. Children are sensitive and words do hurt. Validate your children's feelings and teach them how to deal with their emotions appropriately. If they try to manipulate you with their feelings, validate the feeling but don't fall for or give in.

Remember: Make good choices in your parenting because your kids are counting on you, and so is God. Happy Parenting. Carol Bettino, MA, LPC